Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A King Needs His Throne...

I found it! It was only a matter of time. What have I found? Gold? Diamonds? A VHS copy of "The Monster Squad"? Xenu? No, no. What I have found is MUCH more valuable than those things...

I have found THE PERFECT OFFICE WASHROOM.

Every office building has one. That one beautiful, pristine, solitary bastion, in which a man can sit down, relax, "do his business", as it were, and contemplate the mysteries of the universe. I need to take 2 different elevators to get to it, but it is worth it. Spacious, clean, well-stocked with toilet paper, paper towels, and soap. A fine restroom indeed. As a bonus, it is on a floor that is not heavily populated, so there is no heavy traffic in and out. I must keep this a secret. It is my special place now. My secret garden. My precious.

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