Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Monday, April 17, 2006

Grandma Likes To Kick Out The Jams!

Some poor soul found my blog last week by entering the following search string into a search engine:

"songs to put on a cd for grandma sad songs"

I doubt he or she found what they were looking for, but in case this ever happens again, I'll be ready. Here are my song selections for "A CD For Grandma".

Track 1: Journey - "Don't Stop Believin'"
Maybe Grandma is living just to find emotion. Maybe she's payin' anything to roll the dice, just one more time. Maybe she used to be a groupie and banged Steve Perry. Either way, a little Journey never hurt nobody, no way, no how.

Track 2: The Glenn Miller Orchestra - "Chattanooga Choo Choo"
Nothing will perk Grandma up more than a song that will stir up memories of the good ole days, when men were men, women were women, and the only things worth worrying about were Nazis, Commies, and the atomic bomb.

Track 3: Pulp - "Help The Aged"
Grandma will appreciate the fact that some of us youngsters still show the elderly a little bit of respect.

Track 4-10: Misc.
If Grandma is Italian, use any songs by Dean Martin and/or Frank Sinatra.
If Grandma is Irish, get some Irish tenors on there. "Danny Boy" is a must.
If Grandma is African-Canadian, some Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald would be nice.
If Grandma is Polish, load up on polkas.
If Grandma is German, get some nice brass band music (although you should try to avoid any songs with the word "Putsch" in it)

Track 11: Li'l Jon - "Get Crunk"
Because sometimes, Granny just wants to get all CRUNK up in this beeatch! What?! Okayeee! Yeah, YEEAHHH!


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