Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Thursday, July 28, 2005


Chemo starts tomorrow. Day 1 of Operation Eradicate The Fuck Out Of Iain's Cancer Cells is almost upon us. We're gonna Shock And Awe this lymphoma so bad it would make Dick Cheney's head spin. Word.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Iain - 0, Medical Science - 1


So, apparently I didn't have the flu. I'll try to make this post short and sweet, so here goes:

For those of you who don't already know, I have spent the last 2 weeks in the hospital (I was discharged on Monday). I have been diagnosed with Lymphoblastic Lymphoma. Yeah yeah, I know, I was way off with that flu thing. The good news is that my chemotherapy starts on Friday, and the doctors (and myself, for that matter) are confident that I should be able to make a full recovery.

So there it is. I'm back home in my apartment now, feeling pretty good, and am postive that I'm going to kick the bejesus out of this cancer. I'll try to update the ol' blog as much as possible, so that you folks can have an idea of how I am progessing throughout my treatment. Now, if you excuse me, I have 2 weeks of Internetting to make up for.

Friday, July 08, 2005

And the diagnosis is...

Well, after a week of feeling shitty as all get-out, I think I have a pretty clear idea as to what my infirmity is: the flu. Yeah, just the flu. After careful consideration of my symptoms, and after much discussion with my girlfriend last night, that is what I am settling on. I'm almost sure that it is the flu, because when I called Kathryn at work today, she said that she was feeling a bit under the weather, and described some of the same symptoms that I was having all week. So, if I did indeed have the flu all along, and you have contracted it from me... sorry Kathryn.

So that's that. No appendicitis. No gallstones. No E.coli. No alien babies. Just a boring old flu. It's almost disappointing.

By the by, here's a useful website for making yourself really fucking paranoid about disease:

AllRefer Health - Medical Symptoms

Look up your symptoms and see what horribly debilitating illness you may have today!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

What Food Poisoning Feels Like: A Pictorial Representation

Image hosted by

I am not ashamed to say that I cried and whined like a little schoolgirl this entire long weekend. I'm only 26 and my body is already turning on me. Here is a picture of what I may look like at age 40:

Image hosted by

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Stuff That Sucks

Back pain. Sinus congestion. A hacking cough. Food poisoning.

You know what really sucks?

Getting all four of them motherfuckers at once over the course of one long weekend.