Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Puff Daddy, What Can't You Teach Us?

So I caught this tiny little article today on my idol Paris Hilton's empire building aspirations, and it got me to thinkin'. Seeing as how my professional career is currently at a standstill, now is the perfect time to build the foundations of my own empire. Of course, I don't have the luxury of being born obscenely rich, but I hear stories all the time of folks who started out with nothing and ended up as huge successes, so I'm still hopeful. So, if anybody out there has any suggestions as to how I can jump-start the Iain Gillis Empire, please leave me your suggestions in the comments of this post. I promise that I won't forget you when I make it to the top, and I'm cruising down Rodeo Drive with Paris and Puffy in my stretch Hummer.


  • At 12:58 p.m., Blogger mike said…

    sure, Puffy's been building his unholy empire for years, but the moment i knew he'd really made it; become a king in his own right; was when i saw him riding a Jet Ski while wearing a Fur Cape.
    this is your goal.
    aim high son.

  • At 9:27 a.m., Blogger iaingillis said…

    Fur cape, jet ski. Check. I'm not really into jet skis though. Maybe I'll wear a fur cape while riding a Segway...

  • At 11:25 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's what America is all about. Starting with everything and working your way up to nothing!

    So why haven't you mentioned anything yet about Pat O'Brien's intervention on Dr. Phil and the recorded message he left OnStar about cocaine and hookers? I thought you would be all over that.

  • At 10:50 a.m., Blogger iaingillis said…

    A) I never watch Dr. Phil, as the mere sight of him makes me want to throw my shoe through the TV screen, and I only have one TV.

    B) Pat Who? Oh yeah, that annoying guy on that shitty entertainment "news" show.

    C) What a man does with his cocaine and hookers is his own business. Did you hear that, Halifax Regional Municipality Police, his own business!


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