Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Friday, September 10, 2004

Could it be anymore Friday? The answer is none; it could be none more Friday.

So, due to some miscommunications, I do not have cable at my new place. I'll spare you the details. The short version is: I didn't have it, then I had it, then I didn't have it, and stuff happened in between there. Now comes the big decision: do I actually want cable? In an attempt to aid my decision, here are the...

Top 5 Reasons Why I Do Not Need Cable.

  1. Most cable programming is not entertaining.
    Lets face it: the majority of shows on cable TV are completely devoid of any value whatsoever, be it entertainment value or otherwise. The fact that shows such as The Gilmore Girls and The O.C. even exist is almost enough to swear off cable for good.

  2. Two words: Reality Television
    This is related to the previous item, but I think that it deserves its own section. I pose a question to you: When the fuck did people decide that real real-life is more entertaining than fake real-life? I get enough reality everyday at work for my liking, thank you very much. I like my television and movies to provide a little bit of escapism, you know? What happened to the days when reality TV meant the news and sports, and that was basically it. This craze has just gotten way out of hand (like 4 years ago). I actually have an idea for a show: take Jeff Probst, Paris Hilton and her pseudo-celebrity pal, Nick and Jessica (throw in Carmen and Dave as well), and every network executive who ever greenlighted shows such as Trading Spouses or The Swan (Fox Broadcasting would be decimated), put them on an island in the South Pacific, take away all of the cameras and film equipment, and just fucking leave them there. Hopefully, they'll all turn on each other, Lord Of The Flies style, and we'll never have to worry about this reality TV shit again.

  3. The cost.
    If I decide to get the full-tier cable package, it would cost me around $50 a month. Now, I can probably afford this, but $50/month for a luxury that I don't really need may be a bit much. I mean, I could spend that on beer, movies, food, new socks, beer, or the Kung Fu: The Complete First Season DVD box set.

  4. I would read more.
    I went through a period a few years ago where I was hardly reading anything at all (except music magazines). During the last year, I have started reading a lot more, but I'm still not reading nearly as much as I used to. It's just so much easier to plunk down in front of the old set on shut your brain off for a few hours. Mind you, it would be pretty hard to find a book as entertaining as reruns of Welcome Back, Kotter now, wouldn't it?

  5. It will force me to go out into "the world" more.
    I think that I am a fairly social creature, and I relish any chance I can get to get out of the house and socialize with other humans. However, there have been times where I was kind of sitting on the fence about whether to go out somewhere or not, and I finally thought to myself, "You know, I could go out tonight, or I could just stay home and watch Shark Week on the Discovery Channel." Now, if I didn't have cable, then I wouldn't have that option. Cable is an easy fallback option, perhaps too easy. Mind you, Shark Week is some kick-ass TV. Did you see the one where it showed those sharks that like, jump out of the water and shit? Man, that was sweet...

So there it is. Anybody who ahs any reasons why I should get cable, please leave me your suggestions in the comments for this post. I'm pretty sure that I'll just end up getting it anyways, but you never know.


  • At 9:56 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You wouldn't get much music without cable. It's too bad you can't just pay a little bit, like $10 or something, and pick 3 or 4 channels that you want. Blair would be upset without Spike, he watches car shows on Saturday morning. Did you ever meet Blair? We started going out the summer after first year, so maybe? I just asked him, he said he doesn't remember ever meeting you, but he has a bad memory, so who knows.


  • At 9:40 a.m., Blogger iaingillis said…

    Meh, music (for me anyways) isn't really a reason for me to get cable, what with Muchmusic (and its boring older sister, MuchMoremusic) being "the suck" these days". Some things I miss already:

    Space and Discovery: For when I need to nurture my inner nerd.

    PBS: I like cooking shows. Really.

    Showcase: For my inner movie nerd.

    Comedy Network: to laugh, laugh, laugh the pain away.


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