Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Friday, July 30, 2004

It's Friday All Up In This Bee-atch, Sucka!

Top 5 Movie Quotes (that I can remember at this very moment)

If I did this list again 10 minutes from now, these would probably all be different, but here are 5 good movie quotes that popped into my head.

  1. "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
    - Nada, played by Roddy Piper, from They Live

    I remember nothing from this obscure late 80's sci-fi action movie, except for this line. Someday I will find an opportunity to use this line, and it's gonna be so rad.

  2. "Listen. You smell something?
    - Dr. Ray Stantz, played by Dan Akroyd, from Ghostbusters

    This is one of my favorite movies of all time. It probably was the first movie my parents ever bought my brother and I. I've seen it more times than I can count, and this line never fails to get a laugh out of me. A close second in the Ghostbuster quote contest has to be Winston Zeddemore's classic line, "I have seen shit that'll turn you white!

  3. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
    - Jules, played by Samuel L. Jackson, from Pulp Fiction

    This one just had to make it on here. This is of course the fictional bible passage that Jules recites, right before he and Vincent get all "gangsta" on poor Brett (he of the Big Kahuna Burger and the big brain). If I could ever grow my hair into an afro like Jackson's, I would have done so years ago. He is indeed, a "bad muthafucka".

  4. "Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?"
    - Mr. Blonde, played by Michael Madsen, from Reservoir Dogs

    Another Tarantino movie, go figure? Michael Madsen's bread and butter is playing "the bad ass", and folks, it don't get no more bad ass than that line. This is another line that I would love to use in real life, but probably will never get the chance to. Chances are, if I did ever use it, that would probably end up being the last thing I ever say.

  5. "Wake-y wake-y, eggs and bac-y."
    - Bud, played by Michael Madsen, from Kill Bill: Vol. 2

    Tarantino again, and Michael Madsen again. This is what Bud says to The Bride (Uma Thurman), just after she wakes up from her rock-salt induced mini-coma. I have absolutely no idea why I like this line so much, but it's been stuck in my head ever since I saw Vol.2 in the theatre. There are so many great lines in this movie, and this is the one that stood out for me. Don't ask why.

This dude tried his own McDonald's experiment, ala Supersize Me, but instead of gaining weight, he actually lost weight. Hmmm. I don't know who to believe, but all of a sudden I have a definite hankering for a Quarter Pounder With Cheese.

Wish me luck with my crazy drunk relatives in C.B. this weekend! I'm out this bitch...

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Is it Turrsday already, wha?

So I hear through the grapevine that the one and only Kid Rock cancelled his Atlantic Canadian dates this summer (including the upcoming show right here in Halifax). Apparently, everybody remembered that Kid Rock = Audio Diarrhea, so nobody bought any tickets. Excuse me while I go cry a little cry. Sniff.

Speaking of "The American Badass", do you have bad taste in music?

Want to check out some random Internet dudes opinions on all sorts of entertainment media thingys, then why not go over here for a spell. Go on, it'll be okay. C'mon, little trooper...

It looks like I'll be in Cape Breton (Margaree, to be exact) this upcoming long weekend. It's part Gillis family reunion (apparently there are relatives coming in from parts of the U.S., and even Vancouver), part book launch. The book is a collection of songs and poems by my great-grandfather, Malcolm Gillis. After some Googling, I found this little piece of info, written by my aunt Margaret for the West Word news, a Scottish community newsletter:

From Morar To Margaree by Margaret E Gillis
My Story of My Grandfather, Malcolm Hugh Gillis
Malcolm H Gillis, my grandfather, was a Gaelic poet known as 'The Margaree Bard'. He was born, grew up and raised his own family, in the so very beautiful 'Margarees' - a part of Canada's Cape Breton Island, known for its scenic and tranquil beauty. His father, Hugh Gillis,was 3 years old when he came to Canada from Morar, Scotland and settled with his parents Angus and Margaret Gillis in South West Margaree on Cape Breton Island's west side.

Malcolm wrote both Gaelic and English poetry and songs. He is, however, more well known for his Gaelic Songs than his English ones - which I think are very beautiful also, because I have a great love of poetry. I am told that some of his Gaelic songs are known in Scotland - especially the islands where Gaelic is still spoken. Malcolm Gillis had a great love for everything that was 'Scottish'.
A beautiful love song, 'Nighean Donn A Chuil Reidh', was written by him in praise of a lady who he much admired, but did not marry. Her ancestors were also from Scotland. I have a tape of my father singing this song, accompanied by my mother on piano, at a Gaelic Concert called 'Oidhche Leis Na Baird' on Cape Breton Island, in 1974. My father explains to the audience that he had recently met Calum Kennedy at a Rebecca Cohn concert in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Mr Kennedy had told him that he had won a medal singing this same song.

'Am Braighe', another composition, was in praise of the scenic and tranquil beauty surrounding him, in the picturesque countryside where he lived.
Totally inspired, deep from within, by the power of the nature around him, he expresses the sincere and true love that he felt for his beloved 'Braes' of Margaree. It was a gaelic song that I heard often, sung by my father in my own home as my mother accompanied him on piano - or as he often did, accompanied himself. That has left a musical memory and a musical memory is a beautiful memory.
A collection of my grandfather's work was published in 'Smeorach Nan Cnoc's Nan Gleann' in 1939 by Alexander MacLaren & Sons, Glasgow, Scotland.
A pipe tune by him, named The New Year, was published in The David Glen Piping Collection in Scotland at the turn of the last century. He played various instruments - organ, pipes, and violin. During a trip to the United States to visit family, he entered a violin competition, where he won two silver cups.
Presently, I am a member of a committee (started in 2002 by a cousin) that is compiling all Gaelic and English poetry, songs and essays, as well as any music, written by our grandfather. This will include the work previously published in 1939 accompanied by English translation, plus previously unpublished works. We are having a Tribute to him on 1st August 2004 in South West Margaree, Cape Breton Island - the very same place to where his father, Hugh, immigrated in 1821. My cousin's wish is to make all his work available to his descendants in a book . On that day, the book will be available to the descendants and invited guests for $15.00 / book. Any profit made from this book is to be used to create a high school scholarship called, The Malcolm H Gillis Memorial Scholarship For Recognition of Excellence In Any One Of The Following:
Scottish Gaelic, Poetry, Essays, Music, Songs, Dance
I have great interest in other people's opinion of my grandfather, Malcolm. One that I will always remember was written by Norman MacDonald, former Professor of Celtic Studies at University College of Cape Breton, Sydney, Nova Scotia, and presently with BBC Scotland on The Isle of Skye. It reads....
'Gillis deserves wider recognition as by far the best nature poet writing anywhere in Gaelic between 1830 and 1930. I also think that he should have high place among Canadian Literary figures of this century.'
I did not personally know my grandfather, Malcolm...only through my father, uncles and aunts did I know him....and, of course through his poetry. I do believe, however, that he would have felt highly honoured by Norman MacDonald's words. I leave you now with an English verse written by my grandfather, about Margaree Island.

Oh! fall gentle showers that nature empowers
To soothe a young flower in bower and lea
Come sunshine that pleases, blow soft gentle breezes
Around This Green Island That Rests In The Sea
To all I leave this Celtic Wish ........
Slainte Mhath Agus Sonas (Good Health and Happiness)

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Random Interweb Goodies

The first two links are proof that Japan is on, like, a whole other level of weirdness than the rest of the world:

"Who wants ice-cream? Stomp your hoof 2 times for yes, or 3 times for no."
Robots can't cry, but we're getting closer.

Nerdy science shite: The Law Of Large Numbers

Agent Mulder could have used this website: The Skeptic's Dictionary

Monday, July 26, 2004

The Weekend That Was

4:30 PM - 10:00 PM: Got drunk (pickled, FUBARed, jagged up, wired to the tits, Boris Yeltsinned, tore up from the floor up, Kennedied, blotto, locked out of my mind) at the CS Society weekly Geekbeer.
10:15 PM - 2:30 AM: From there I headed over to the Marquee to catch Slainte Mhath. They were great, as usual. Downstairs in Hell, a band called Sharp Like Knives was playing. They were also good. Chatted with Alfred for a bit (as usual), and had some pizza. The pizza in Hell's Kitchen is the shiznit.

5:30-10:30ish: Went to the concert on Citadel Hill with a friend from work and a few of his friends. It was rainy, and I was soaked, but it wasn't too bad. Matt Mays & El Torpedo were great, and Hawksley Workman was okay too, I guess. I'm not really into his music, but at least he is a captivating performer. He certainly grabs an audiences attention (sometimes he goes a tad overboard with the theatrics, but I can let that slide). Hawksley certainly has his share of female fans, however. I know this because I was almost crushed to death when a throng of them bowled me over on their way to the front of the stage. At the end of his set, I mentioned to one of them that he should've have thrown the socks that he had stuffed in his crotch into the crowd, and she gave me the evil eye. I immediately apologized for my wisecrack against Mr. Workman's manly endowment (heh heh), then yelled quite loudly towards the stage, "Hawksley, I want you to touch my bathing suit area!!" This got quite a few laughs from most of the concert-goers in the immediate vicinity, but the "evil eye" girl told me to, and I quote, "Fuck off, loser!" So I did. The beer tent sucked (Coors Light is wack), but I had a few beer anyway. The headline act was Jim Cuddy, of Blue Rodeo fame. We didn't stay for most of his set, but from what I heard, he should probably just change the name of his band to "New Rodeo", because I couldn't tell the difference.

10:00 AM - 9:00 PM: Did Sweet Fuck All.
9:30 PM - 11:30 PM: Saw The Bourne Supremacy. I enjoyed it. If you like fast-paced, car chase, puncy-kicky movies that have confusing plots and crazy editing, go see it. If you don't like those kinds of movies, stop being such a panty-waist bee-otch and see it anyways. Or just go and see The Notebook or some such shit. Whatever.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Lists? We don't need no steenking lists!

Top 5 Muppets

  1. Beaker
    I always felt bad for poor Beaker, because he would always end up getting blown up or some such thing, due to Prof. Bunsen Honeydew's shitty experiments. And despite all of that, Beaker still stood by Bunsen, helping him carry out various experiments that would invariably end quite painfully for poor Beaker. Plus, he talked in a series of "meeps", "moops", and "beeps", and that was pretty funny.

  2. The Swedish Chef
    For years I actually thought that Swedish people talked like this. I wish they actually did talk like this. This guy was nothing short of a guaranteed laugh. So, apparently, my two favorite muppets were the ones who made the least amount of sense. I wonder what that says about me?

  3. Waldorf & Statler
    The ultimate "peanut gallery" hecklers. These guys were just plain sarcastic, cantankerous, and generally mean spirited. Here at the Computer Science building, we've named two of our servers after them. Yes, we are huge nerds.

  4. Animal
    The drummer for the band Dr. Teeth And The Electric Mayhem, Animal was another non-sensical Muppet that I liked. He's sort of like Cookie Monster from Sesame Street, but instead of cookies, Animal likes to play drums and smash things. Much more cooler than cookies.

  5. Crazy Harry
    Anytime anybody on the show mentioned anything even remotely related to bombs or explosions, this crazy mutherfucker would pop out of nowhere and blow shit up. I cannot even begin to stress the awesomeness of that concept.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

"Hey, I'm all for the concept of meat on a stick, but this is ridiculous!"

Yesterday my roomate convinced me to try a delicacy that, up until this point in my life, I have never felt the urge to try. The Pogo Stick. For the few of you out there who don't know what a Pogo Stick is, it basically consists of a hot dog on a stick, dipped in batter. Let me repeat that: it basically consists of a hot dog on a stick, dipped in batter. Now, as horrible as that sounded to me, I am always game to try out new and exciting foodstuffs, so I bit the bullet and tucked in to a Pogo. If you are an intelligent human being and have never eaten one of these, this is what they look like:

The first bite was like Neil Armstrong stepping onto the moon... "one small step for man, one giant leap for Iain's tastebuds." How does it taste, you ask. Well, it tastes exactly like a battered frankfurter on a stick. Use your imagination. Covering it with mustard alleviated the pain somewhat, but I can pretty much some with some degree of certainty that it was the first and last Pogo I have ever eaten. Luckily, I had a nice, cold bottle of Miller Genuine Draft to wash it down, so it wasn't all bad.

My next step is to find a supermarket that still sells sprayable cheese. Just imagine, a Pogo topped with sprayable cheese... it almost boggles the mind.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Happy Thursday-Eve!

Go here and see what your name (or your favorite swear words) look like in hieroglyphics. My name is Square-Bird-Square-Squigly Line.

I've never been to a Krispy Kreme donut shop before, but this sounds absolutely disgusting.

And you thought that I liked to drink...

It's Wednesday, so you know what that means, right? Time to go check out The Onion. Don't just stand there, go!

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Guaranteed delivery in 30 minutes or less, or we commit Seppuku!

Experience the Ninja Burger difference!

In case anybody was wondering what "seppuku" is, check this out.

Monday, July 19, 2004

"Whoo, Whoo, Show Us Your Scrotum"

Friday night was spent at The Marquee, where I saw this band called The Waco Brothers. The Waco Brothers are a Chicago-based punk-country-rock-funtime band that includes members of The Mekons, Jesus Jones, and KMFDM, among other bands. These dudes are all middle-aged or quickly approaching middle-age, yet they played with more energy than any group of 20somethings I've seen in recent memory. Apparently they were flown in just for this night, courtesy of some guy named Jeff Cohen (he is from Toronto and runs/owns/has something important to do with Lee's Palace and The Horseshoe Tavern in Toronto. He was getting married to some chick from Eastern Passage, and the show was kinda like a pre-wedding party or something. At one point, one of the guys from the Waco Brothers asked the crowd if they knew any popular Nova Scotian wedding chants, and the only replies he got were, "Whoo, whoo!", and "Show us your scrotum!" So, he spent the rest of the show randomly yelling, "Whoo, whoo, show us your scrotum!" I had a ball. I also saw Eugene Ripper downstairs. He was pretty decent as well. To top it all off, I didn't even have a hangover the next day. Good times all around.

Friday, July 16, 2004

"Hi Five, More Dead Than Alive." - Beck

I'm not feeling very creative today, so the Top 5 is kinda lame. Meh.

Top 5 Popsicle Flavours

  1. Lime

  2. Cherry

  3. Grape

  4. Orange

  5. Those 3-Colour Rocket Ones (Red, White, And Blue)

Root beer and banana both suck, by the way. Always have, always will. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who like root beer and banana popsicles, and those who don't. Which side are you on, punk?

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Adventures in Snack Food Land

During lunch today I decided to go down to the Asian grocery near work and browse around for some snacks. Asian (especially Japanese) snack foods have always intrigued me, as they are usually, how should I put this, more "eclectic" than our snacks over here in Canadiana. I started out slow today by trying out Tomato Pretz. These things are thin, breadsticky-pretzel type dealies, coated in a salty flavouring agent. While the tomato flavour was far from overpowering, these guys are pretty good. There are some strange ingredients listed though: isomerized sugar (wha?), chicken extract (gah?), apple juice powder (zah?). Maybe tomorrow I'll finally try Pocky. I was intrigued by this package of wasabi flavoured roasted peas, but I don't think that I'm nearly that brave yet.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Happy Bastille Day!

Since I'm part Frenchy myself (thanks Mom), I'd like to extend to you and yours my best wishes on this Bastille Day! For anybody who would like to celebrate the storming of the Bastille and the beginning of the First Republic, here are some handy dandy drink recipes.

Apparently some Mexican government and law enforcement officials are having chips implanted into their arms that will allow their movements to be tracked, as well as giving them access to a national crime data bank. Now I'm no Luddite, but this kind of creeps me out. Just a little bit.

So professional sports may be coming back to Halifax. Possibly. The World Hockey Association is planning to take advantage of the possible NHL lock-out this fall and bring affordable pro hockey back to the people. Or so they would have you believe. Halifax's contribution to the league will be the recently named Halifax Ice Breakers. Ugh. The team doesn't have a deal with the Metro Centre yet (just an "understanding"), they won't have a list of players to negotiate with until the draft in a few days, there is no coach or general manager signed, and no head office yet in the city. The league is supposed to start in late October. Riiight. On the WHA website, the team listing for the the inaugural season includes Detroit, Halifax, Miami, Quebec, Toronto, Hamilton, and my favorite, Dallas or Vancouver. If this league ever gets off the ground, I give it one season. Two tops.

After reading this, I began to have flashbacks to another fledgling league, the ill-fated National Basketball League. This league featured a handfull of Canadian teams, including the Halifax Windjammers and of course, my own hometown Cape Breton Breakers (get it... Breakers, like a fast break in basketball, or Breakers like a wave, like the waves in the water around Cape Breton... how clever). The league lasted about one and a half seasons, but I have found memories of Sydney's brief journey into the realm of pro hoops. I remember on opening night, way back in 1993, my friend's and I had floor seats, right behind the visiting teams bench (Hamilton, I believe). The pre-game festivities included the Barra MacNeils doing the anthem, and a procession of bagpipes (it's Cape Breton, what else would there be?). After the pipers came in, one of the Hamilton players, a guy by the name of Clifford Lett (who actually played a handfull of NBA games with Chicago and San Antonio), turned back towards us and said, "Yo fellas, is this some sort of hockey thing, or somthin?" He was immediately our favorite player in the league. Everytime Hamilton came into town, we would make Clifford Lett signs and cheer as loud as possible whenever he so much as touched the ball. We of course had our favorites on the Breakers as well. Willie McDuffie was my favorite, an overweight, ageing centre, who was slow as molasses, but had a decent 3-point shot. I loved that team. They actually made it to the league finals. Alas, it was not meant to be.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Just 2 More Days Till Bastille Day!

Saturday night was spent at the Pogue Fado. Despite that, I actually had decent time (although my constant barrage of complaints against the music, the horrible bathroom line-ups, and the weird "linear" layout of the bar may have led some people to believe otherwise). You see, I can enjoy myself in almost ANY type of bar, as long as the company is good (and/or the booze is cheap enough). I am far from a bar-elitist. "Any port in a storm.", as the saying goes. That being said, this bar has all of the worst traits of the shittier bars back in Sydney, so needless to say, I probably won't become a regular at this place. If you live in Halifax, or plan to visit, and want to go to an Irish style pub, go to The Old Triangle instead. Sit down at the bar in front of the stage, order up a pint of Harp (or Guinness, if that's your poison) and the Curry & Chips, and pretend you're not in Halifax, but a quaint little local pub in County Cork or someplace. They did show some weird rodeo thingy on the TV above the bar though, so that was cool.

Go see Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy, the new Will Ferell movie. I was almost in tears at some parts. I may even go see it again. Best comedy of the year so far.

Friday, July 09, 2004

It's Frizziday all up in the hizzle, fo' shizzle!

While I was at Th Attic last night listening to The Hemingways, I ran into my good buddy Alfred. He's trying a crazy experiment that involves seeing how long he can go without drinking. I briefly considered the notion, then I ordered another beer. I fucking suck.

I went to Mary's Food Corner today for lunch, only to find out that the restuarant is changing hands. This was a bummer, until I found out that it was being replaced with a Chinese restuarant. They are in the middle of the changeover, and had some Chinese food on the menu. I got the Kung Po Chicken. It ruled. I am no longer bummed. However, I suddenly have a strange craving for pineapple chicken and Jar Doo chicken wings. Oh yeah, EAT AT LAM'S.

During lunch Mary's was playing the radio (C100 FM), and "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler came on. Now I can't get it out of my head. This sucks balls.

Somebody at the bar last night starting talking about Wheelies, the roller skating place Sydney had in the 80's. I'm not sure what it was called in your town, but every city or town probably had one of these. I have a theory that these places only existed because some shitty DJ had nothing better to do with his Styx, Journey, and Air Supply records. This one time at Wheelies my brother fell down in the middle of the rink, and some dude ran over his face. True story.

Top 5 Dishes At Lam's Restaurant (My favorite Chinese Restaurant)

  1. Pineapple Chicken - My good friend Shamus Blair never gets anything else when he goes to Lam's, and since he is a man of refined taste, I trust his judgement. You can have your vanilla, plain-Jane Sweet And Sour Chicken. This is the real shit, yo.

  2. Jar Doo Chicken Wings - In a city in which there is a "Wing Night" at random bars every night, these are still my vote for the best wings in Sydney. True dat.

  3. Cantonese Chow Mein - One of Minh's specialties, this stuff is to regular Chow Mein as Saved By The Bell is to Saved By The Bell: The College Years, ya heard me?!

  4. Beef And Broccoli - A classic. Beef is good. Broccoli is good. Beef And Broccoli is good.

  5. Almond Gai Ding - If it wasn't for this and the good people at Glosettes, I would never have a reason to eat almonds.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

"I'm livin' on the air in Cincinnati..."

During lunch today, a co-worker and I began waxing nostalgic over old T.V. shows from the 80's. One of the shows that came up was WKRP. You all remember WKRP right? Herb, Venus Flytrap, Les Nesman, that dude who plays the Maytag repairman. I used to love that show, despite all of its late 70's/early 80's cheeziness. My co-worker mentioned that one of the main drawing points of the show to him as a teenager was Loni Anderson and her ridiculously tight-fitting wardrobe. I made the off-hand remark that I was more of a Bailey Quarters fan, and he instantly began laughing at me. I thought that it was common knowledge that Jan Smithers (the actress who played Bailey) was more attractive than Loni Anderson, and he replied with, "Man, it's those HUGE glasses! And her wardrobe couldn't have been more boring." So we preceeded to have one of those classic, utterly stupid, "Who's hotter than who?" arguments. Only guys seem to get into these. You know, "Ginger or Mary-Anne?", "Britney or Christina?", "Counsellor Troi or Dr. Crusher?", that sort of thing. I'm not sure who came out on top in our argument, but I'll leave you with this piece of evidence. I think the choice is obvious.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Hump Day (Hee hee, I said "hump")

I went to Stage Nine last night to take in some open mic action. This bar is quickly becoming one of my favorites in Halifax. Good music, good service, cheap (or no) cover. What more could you ask for? I showed up at the advertised start time of 9:00 PM, but of course, we all know that advertised start times are rarely accurate. To pass the time I sat outside at the patio bar and conversed with some of the staff. They played the Beastie Boys album "Licensed To Ill" in its entirety, which was awesome. The waitress recommended I try a drink called "Love Potion Number 9", which I believe was made with vodka, melon liquor, orange juice, and something else. Despite the bartender's warnings that it was "a girlie drink", I was game, so I ordered one. Then I ordered two more. Needless to say, I didn't feel 100% this morning. Ah well, such is the price for having a good time, I suppose. Anyhow, it's a good bar. Go there. Yup.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

How much more Tuesday could today be? The answer is none; none more Tuesday.

Well, it was a fairly uneventful weekend. I saw these movies:

Spiderman 2 (in the theatre)
Apocalypse Now Redux (on video)
The Fog Of War (on video)
Independence Day (on TV)

Two thumbs up for Spidey 2. Two mildly disturbed thumbs up for Apocalypse Now Redux. 1 mildly bored, mildly skeptical thumb up for The Fog Of War. Independence Day still sucks (although Jeff Goldblum plays a weird science dude in it, so it does have that going for it).

Kid Rock is playing at the Halifax Metro Centre in August. I can hardly contain myself. I was thinking about going, but I think I might just save myself $53.50 and just jam a fork in my ear canal instead.

Get your chef on!
The Urban Peasant - To check out the recipes, you have to register for the site. Don't worry though, I registered like 3 years ago, and have only received about 5 emails from then since. James Barber likes to put booze in his food. A lot. And probably not just in his food, either.
Yan Can Cook - I used to love this guys show as a kid. Yan's got crazy ninja skills with his cleaver. On his show he used to always dump the scraps underneath the counter and pretend he was feeding them to his brother. He's still my all-time favorite TV chef.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Post Canada Day Report (with Top 5 List!)

I started out Canada Day by sleeping in to 11:00 (that's late for me). I then went to the Athens Restaurant for lunch. I got the Lamb Souvlakia plate, in honour of Canada's multicultural heritage. Not really, I just like Greek food is all. I then went to see Fahrenheit 9/11 at the Oxford. Watching that film on Canada Day was quite fitting, as it made me feel very thankful that I was born in this country, despite the fact that we are responsible for Celine Dion and polar bears chase me to work everyday. This was followed by an impromptu BBQ at my friend Debra's house in Dartmouth. Debra was uspet that I didn't mention her in my blog very much, so here goes: Debra has a nice old dog named Cleo, she gave us all Sweet Tarts, and enjoys chicken hot dogs. Tune in next week for more interesting Debra trivia! (just kidding Debbie.) The fireworks on the waterfront were pretty standard, but anything that can cause thousands of people to go "oooh" and "aaah" in unison is pretty cool in my book. Good, clean, wholesome, Canadian fun was had by all. A few beers were had, but nothing excessive. Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf. All of this drunk-free fun is starting to freak me out.

Top 5 Songs From Canadian Television

  1. "Run With Us" (from The Raccoons) - Ah, the Raccoons, the high-water mark of Canadian animation. This cartoon was so Canadian it ate back bacon smothered in maple syrup for breakfast. I just have one question though: what the hell was Cyril Sneer supposed to be, anyways? Some kind of pink aardvark, or something?

  2. "The Zit Remedy Song" (from Degrassi Junior High) - "Everybody wants something...". Ah, Pat Mastroianni, he's sooo dreamy! I never liked Wheels though.

  3. The Littlest Hobo Theme - Lassie ain't got nothing on The Littlest Hobo. The Littlest Hobo is like MacGyver, and Lassie is like Dr. Grant Roberts from Danger Bay. Nuff said. This song kicks ass.

  4. "Having An Average Weekend" by Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet - You probably know this song better as the opening theme to the great Canadian sketch comedy show The Kids In The Hall. They also did the bits of music in between the sketches.

  5. The Hockey Night in Canada theme - Even though you may despise hockey, you can't deny that no other song in Canadian history (outside of the national anthem) has stirred the hearts of Canadians more than the theme to Hockey Night In Canada. Okay, maybe "Bye Bye Mon Cowboy", by Mitsou. Many people call this the second national anthem, and they may not be that far off. This song triggers something in your brain that causes you to sit in front of a T.V. with a case of Blue and yell at referees. It's genetic.