Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Friday, June 25, 2004

You Want A List? Well, You Got A List, Bubba!

Top 5 Things I Like To Eat On My Way Home From A Bar

  1. Pizza - Ah, the old standby. You can't really go wrong with a nice, hot slice of Italian-American (or in my case, Canadian) Cheese-Sauce Bread. Halifax has pizza places up the ying yang, so I always have a wide variety to choose from. Usually I just end up at Pizza Corner (Blowers Street on Grafton, for you non-Haligonians out there) and get a slice from Sicilian. Try the BBQ Chicken.

  2. Donairs - Apparently the donair is a Halifax creation, although it is simply a modified version of the Mediterranean doner kebab. Sure, the meat content of the donair is quite sketchy at best. Sure, donair sauce looks absolutely disgusting. Sure, donairs may well be one of the messiest foods to eat in history. Sure, your guts will hate you the next day for ingesting this strange combination of mystery meat, transluscent sauce, onions, and pita. All I know is, when I'm out "gettin' ma drink on", I often feel a strange desire to enter one of Halifax's many fine donair establishments and devour one or two of these culinary marvels.

  3. McDonalds - Yeah, I know, McDonalds may in fact be one of the absolute worst places a human being could ever eat, but I still get a BigMac jones every once in awhile. I'm pretty sure they sprinkle crack into all of their food, although I can't prove it. Going into a McDonalds drunk is one of the most dangerous things a person can ever do to themselves: "Umm, yeah, I'll have the Double Big Mac Meal, Super-sized, with a 20-pack of McNuggets, 2 Apple Pies, and a Chocolate Milkshake." You know you'll eat all of that shit, and afterwards you will pray to the gastro-intestinal gods to strike you down and end your suffering.

  4. Meat On A Stick - Anybody who reads this who has spent a night in downtown Halifax knows what I'm talking about. Just below Pizza Corner, on an inconspicuous little section of sidewalk, lies one of the greatest things known to man or beast, Rocky's Filipino BBQ (or simply Meat On A Stick Guy). Miscellaneaous, marinated meat (is it pork? beef? chicken? who knows? who cares!) barbequeued on skewers, then served in a bun (or au natural), with a dizzying array of condiments (I usually stick with hot sauce, garlic mayo, and onions). I couldn't find a link to this little corner of Heaven, so I just have a link to some recipe for generic Filipino kebabs. The recipe looks good, but the vegetables are superfluous. All you need is meat, pointy sticks, and a fire, and you're partying baby!

  5. Kraft Dinner And Tuna Fish Surprise - I had to throw this one in here in honour of my good friend and former drinking buddy Shannon McD. I lost count of the nights we (and whomever else was with us at the time) would stagger home (or stagger into a cab, anyway) from a bar, usually Tom's, and she would whip up a pot of this stuff. This was usually followed by watching either: a)a cheezy 80's movie, or b)a taped episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The recipe link is for some kind of casserole, but if you just take out every ingredient except for the KD and tuna, then you get this wonderfully disgusting late-night treat.

Honourable Mention: If my drinking escapades happen to occur in my old stomping grounds of "beautiful downtown Sydney", then I usually end up at a local favorite, Jasper's. What can I say about Jasper's. Modern decor, always cheerful wait staff, well-mannered, quiet patrons, this place has it all! There's just something about having breakfast at 4:00 in the morning that gives me that special feeling way down in the cockles of my heart. Or maybe that's just the bacon and eggs. My new favorite menu item is "The Downhomer", which consists of 2 eggs, 2 fishcakes, baked beans, and 2 slices of toast. Delicious. I was actually banned from this establishment for a little while (but that's a story for another time).


Post a Comment

<< Home