Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Friday, June 25, 2004

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol." - Anon.

Check out this Flash game that simulates walking home drunk. Move your mouse left and right to keep your balance. My farthest distance so far has been 63 meters. Oh yeah, ya gotta download this if ya wanna play.

This game reminded me of something that happened to me when I first moved to Halifax. One night I decided to head down to the Marquee to see Rock Ranger. I had a good time (maybe a little too good, if you catch my drift), and ended up leaving by myself. If was late, but it was warm, summer night, and I was in good spirits, so I didn't mind and took my sweet old time. Now, I had made the walk from the Marquee to Seaforth St. many times, drunk and sober, and had yet to encounter any problems. Until now. Here's a map to help my explanation along:

The Marquee is where the red star is. My house is represented by the pink dot. So I was just strolling along, mindin' my own biz-nass, when all of a sudden the house and buildings around me stop looking familiar. A few minutes later I realize, Jesus, I'm lost! How could this have happened? After stumbling around aimlessly a little while longer, I happened to glance down at the sidewalk. Most of the sidewalks in Halifax, at intersections, have the street names carved into the cement. When I looked down to see where I was, I was shocked. Gottigen Street! The Marquee is on Gottigen Street! Somehow I had ended up on the same street, despite the fact that I began my walk home by walking away from Gottigen. Now I was drunk and freaking out. I began frantically searching for a payphone, even though I couldn't even tell a cab where I was. I finally came across the Casino Taxi dispatch office on Isleville St., indicated on the map by the blue dot. After banging on their window for 10 minutes, a cab came by and took my drunk ass home. I had ended up nearly 20 blocks or so away from my original destination. The next day I said to myself, "Iain, you will never touch a drop of alcohol for the rest of your life." And do you know what folks? Nearly 3 years later, I never have. Ha.


Simpson's Drinking Quotes
Say Hello To The Future Of Music (Flash Player Required)

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