Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." - Homer Simpson

Here's and interesting link for those of you who (like myself) enjoy the occassional after-dinner cocktail or aperitif.
Modern Drunkard Magazine
A few choice selections:
Party Politics
Drunk Talk
Finally, here are some definitions from the Drunk Talk article above that have applied to me, at some point in "drinking career":

  • AWOG adj. Absent Without Saying Goodbye. Slipping out of a bar or party without telling your friends. - I can admit to doing this from time to time, and I apologize if I have ever done this to any of you. I'm sure I had a good reason. STOP JUDGING ME!

  • alcoheimers n. the inability to remember what happened while drinking the night before. - This has happened to me on occassion, but not in a while. Sometimes I may forget little bits and pieces, but the full blackout-style memory loss is rare.

  • barf-lies n. post-vomiting affirmations that you will never drink again. - Although I rarely ever drink to the point of vomiting, I have denounced drinking on many a hungover morning. One of these days I'll follow through on these affirmations, you'll see.

  • blank shame n. the vague feeling of guilt experienced in the aftermath of a blackout, without knowing if you actually did anything wrong. - I've only "blacked out" a couple of times, but this feeling is an invariable part of that experience, I believe. It sucks.

  • booze-bonding n. male or female bonding accelerated by the presence of alcohol. - I've done this often. Alcohol can be a great "social lubricant". Some people say that you shouldn't need alcohol to be social. To them I say, stop harshing my buzz, Captain Bringdown!

  • calling Captain Nemo v. to vomit into a toilet. - A rite of passage for any drinker. I've vomited in much more interesting places, but a toilet is defintely the preferred recepticle. People who vomit in bathtubs piss me off. I mean, the toilet is right there next to you! Jeez.

  • drinking with Godot adj. drinking while waiting for friends who may or may not arrive; from the Beckett play Waiting For Godot, wherein the title character never appears. - My penchant for arriving everywhere early has put me in this position many times. The worst ever was a night at the Capri in Sydney. I showed up a good hour and a half before ANYBODY else in the bar showed up. Just me, my pitcher of beer, the bartenders, and about 6 surly looking bouncers. Fun times.

  • hurdling in the Special Olympics v. to trip over furniture while drunk. - Furniture, cracks in the sidewalk, stairways, parked cars...

  • jason n. a drunk who passes out briefly then rises again to drink; a reference to the irrepressible Jason Voorhees protagonist of the Friday the 13th horror film series. - A few times during my tenure at St. F.X., but now I know better.

  • juice jacket n. the condition of feeling warmer due to drinking - Walking around downtown Sydney on New Year's Eve at 2 in the morning in nothing but a t-shirt is a bad idea kids.

  • job-sick/bar-well adj. the state of being too ill to go to work but fit enough to go the bar. - While not applicable to work, this often was the case during my years at university.

  • lashed to the past adj. to become very nostalgic while drinking. - This usually occurs when drinking with friends from high school (GO WILDCATS!), or with any of my friends who have an extensive knowledge of 80's pop culture (you know who you are).

  • trolling the void v. attempting to piece together a blackout by posing seemingly casual questions to friends who were possibly more cognizant at the time. - After one memorable occassion at St. F.X., this took up most of the following Sunday.


    • At 12:42 p.m., Blogger Miss Misse said…

      Do you know Shaun Purdy? You mentioned him in a blog recently. I read this blog occasionally, I'm from Ottawa, and a super good friend of mine from highschool, Shaun Purdy now lives in Halifax. It would be a really funny coincidence if it was the same Shaun. Is it Shaun, now Fowler-Purdy, father of twins, actor extraordinaire?


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