Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Hey Mister, Could You Spare A Dime?

So I was going to get a haircut after work yesterday, and during the walk (it takes about 7 minutes to get there from my place) I was hit up by 4 different lemonade stands! At first I was more than willing to part with 25 cents for a glass, since it was "hot as crotch" outside and I was thirsty. I bought a glass at the second stand because they were only charging 15 cents (mind you, the quality was severely lacking compared to the first stand). The third one was selling homemade, freshly squeezed lemonade, so I had to give that a try. I was now out of change , so I had to decline the offer from the fourth stand. The one thing I noticed about all of the stands is that the kids were so pushy! Jesus, I've talked to telemarketers who were less pushy than these kids! Some of the kids actually stepped into the middle of the sidewalk to get me to stop. These kids have to learn that you don't have to be pushy and aggressive to sell lemonade (although chumps like me will still buy it, apparently). All you need is a hot, sunny day, a good location, a hand-written sign that has spelling mistakes and/or backwards letters, and your cutest, "Ah shucks, golly gee" facial expression. Just watch the money roll in. Seriously, who can resist some darling little raggamuffin hawking low-grade lemonade at 15 cents a pop?

Batter up!
Mmmm, tasty!
Vinyl Is Dead


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