Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." - Homer Simpson

Here's and interesting link for those of you who (like myself) enjoy the occassional after-dinner cocktail or aperitif.
Modern Drunkard Magazine
A few choice selections:
Party Politics
Drunk Talk
Finally, here are some definitions from the Drunk Talk article above that have applied to me, at some point in "drinking career":

  • AWOG adj. Absent Without Saying Goodbye. Slipping out of a bar or party without telling your friends. - I can admit to doing this from time to time, and I apologize if I have ever done this to any of you. I'm sure I had a good reason. STOP JUDGING ME!

  • alcoheimers n. the inability to remember what happened while drinking the night before. - This has happened to me on occassion, but not in a while. Sometimes I may forget little bits and pieces, but the full blackout-style memory loss is rare.

  • barf-lies n. post-vomiting affirmations that you will never drink again. - Although I rarely ever drink to the point of vomiting, I have denounced drinking on many a hungover morning. One of these days I'll follow through on these affirmations, you'll see.

  • blank shame n. the vague feeling of guilt experienced in the aftermath of a blackout, without knowing if you actually did anything wrong. - I've only "blacked out" a couple of times, but this feeling is an invariable part of that experience, I believe. It sucks.

  • booze-bonding n. male or female bonding accelerated by the presence of alcohol. - I've done this often. Alcohol can be a great "social lubricant". Some people say that you shouldn't need alcohol to be social. To them I say, stop harshing my buzz, Captain Bringdown!

  • calling Captain Nemo v. to vomit into a toilet. - A rite of passage for any drinker. I've vomited in much more interesting places, but a toilet is defintely the preferred recepticle. People who vomit in bathtubs piss me off. I mean, the toilet is right there next to you! Jeez.

  • drinking with Godot adj. drinking while waiting for friends who may or may not arrive; from the Beckett play Waiting For Godot, wherein the title character never appears. - My penchant for arriving everywhere early has put me in this position many times. The worst ever was a night at the Capri in Sydney. I showed up a good hour and a half before ANYBODY else in the bar showed up. Just me, my pitcher of beer, the bartenders, and about 6 surly looking bouncers. Fun times.

  • hurdling in the Special Olympics v. to trip over furniture while drunk. - Furniture, cracks in the sidewalk, stairways, parked cars...

  • jason n. a drunk who passes out briefly then rises again to drink; a reference to the irrepressible Jason Voorhees protagonist of the Friday the 13th horror film series. - A few times during my tenure at St. F.X., but now I know better.

  • juice jacket n. the condition of feeling warmer due to drinking - Walking around downtown Sydney on New Year's Eve at 2 in the morning in nothing but a t-shirt is a bad idea kids.

  • job-sick/bar-well adj. the state of being too ill to go to work but fit enough to go the bar. - While not applicable to work, this often was the case during my years at university.

  • lashed to the past adj. to become very nostalgic while drinking. - This usually occurs when drinking with friends from high school (GO WILDCATS!), or with any of my friends who have an extensive knowledge of 80's pop culture (you know who you are).

  • trolling the void v. attempting to piece together a blackout by posing seemingly casual questions to friends who were possibly more cognizant at the time. - After one memorable occassion at St. F.X., this took up most of the following Sunday.

  • Monday, June 28, 2004

    Take off, eh. You hoser.

    Wow, just a few more days till Canada Day. In honour of our great nation's 137th birthday, here are some patriotic links. (I was going to post these on Thursday, but I figure that since I have work off that day, I probably won't be able to do much blogging, seeing as how I may end up celebrating Canada Day in the traditional manner: getting drunk at noon and passing out in a drunken stupor by 3 PM. Hooray for patriotism!)

    Get Your Learn On
    Famous Canadians: An Oxymoron?
    "Molly, sir. Molly Johnson", and more!
    For your American friends.

    Friday, June 25, 2004

    "Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol." - Anon.

    Check out this Flash game that simulates walking home drunk. Move your mouse left and right to keep your balance. My farthest distance so far has been 63 meters. Oh yeah, ya gotta download this if ya wanna play.

    This game reminded me of something that happened to me when I first moved to Halifax. One night I decided to head down to the Marquee to see Rock Ranger. I had a good time (maybe a little too good, if you catch my drift), and ended up leaving by myself. If was late, but it was warm, summer night, and I was in good spirits, so I didn't mind and took my sweet old time. Now, I had made the walk from the Marquee to Seaforth St. many times, drunk and sober, and had yet to encounter any problems. Until now. Here's a map to help my explanation along:

    The Marquee is where the red star is. My house is represented by the pink dot. So I was just strolling along, mindin' my own biz-nass, when all of a sudden the house and buildings around me stop looking familiar. A few minutes later I realize, Jesus, I'm lost! How could this have happened? After stumbling around aimlessly a little while longer, I happened to glance down at the sidewalk. Most of the sidewalks in Halifax, at intersections, have the street names carved into the cement. When I looked down to see where I was, I was shocked. Gottigen Street! The Marquee is on Gottigen Street! Somehow I had ended up on the same street, despite the fact that I began my walk home by walking away from Gottigen. Now I was drunk and freaking out. I began frantically searching for a payphone, even though I couldn't even tell a cab where I was. I finally came across the Casino Taxi dispatch office on Isleville St., indicated on the map by the blue dot. After banging on their window for 10 minutes, a cab came by and took my drunk ass home. I had ended up nearly 20 blocks or so away from my original destination. The next day I said to myself, "Iain, you will never touch a drop of alcohol for the rest of your life." And do you know what folks? Nearly 3 years later, I never have. Ha.

    Simpson's Drinking Quotes
    Say Hello To The Future Of Music (Flash Player Required)

    You Want A List? Well, You Got A List, Bubba!

    Top 5 Things I Like To Eat On My Way Home From A Bar

    1. Pizza - Ah, the old standby. You can't really go wrong with a nice, hot slice of Italian-American (or in my case, Canadian) Cheese-Sauce Bread. Halifax has pizza places up the ying yang, so I always have a wide variety to choose from. Usually I just end up at Pizza Corner (Blowers Street on Grafton, for you non-Haligonians out there) and get a slice from Sicilian. Try the BBQ Chicken.

    2. Donairs - Apparently the donair is a Halifax creation, although it is simply a modified version of the Mediterranean doner kebab. Sure, the meat content of the donair is quite sketchy at best. Sure, donair sauce looks absolutely disgusting. Sure, donairs may well be one of the messiest foods to eat in history. Sure, your guts will hate you the next day for ingesting this strange combination of mystery meat, transluscent sauce, onions, and pita. All I know is, when I'm out "gettin' ma drink on", I often feel a strange desire to enter one of Halifax's many fine donair establishments and devour one or two of these culinary marvels.

    3. McDonalds - Yeah, I know, McDonalds may in fact be one of the absolute worst places a human being could ever eat, but I still get a BigMac jones every once in awhile. I'm pretty sure they sprinkle crack into all of their food, although I can't prove it. Going into a McDonalds drunk is one of the most dangerous things a person can ever do to themselves: "Umm, yeah, I'll have the Double Big Mac Meal, Super-sized, with a 20-pack of McNuggets, 2 Apple Pies, and a Chocolate Milkshake." You know you'll eat all of that shit, and afterwards you will pray to the gastro-intestinal gods to strike you down and end your suffering.

    4. Meat On A Stick - Anybody who reads this who has spent a night in downtown Halifax knows what I'm talking about. Just below Pizza Corner, on an inconspicuous little section of sidewalk, lies one of the greatest things known to man or beast, Rocky's Filipino BBQ (or simply Meat On A Stick Guy). Miscellaneaous, marinated meat (is it pork? beef? chicken? who knows? who cares!) barbequeued on skewers, then served in a bun (or au natural), with a dizzying array of condiments (I usually stick with hot sauce, garlic mayo, and onions). I couldn't find a link to this little corner of Heaven, so I just have a link to some recipe for generic Filipino kebabs. The recipe looks good, but the vegetables are superfluous. All you need is meat, pointy sticks, and a fire, and you're partying baby!

    5. Kraft Dinner And Tuna Fish Surprise - I had to throw this one in here in honour of my good friend and former drinking buddy Shannon McD. I lost count of the nights we (and whomever else was with us at the time) would stagger home (or stagger into a cab, anyway) from a bar, usually Tom's, and she would whip up a pot of this stuff. This was usually followed by watching either: a)a cheezy 80's movie, or b)a taped episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The recipe link is for some kind of casserole, but if you just take out every ingredient except for the KD and tuna, then you get this wonderfully disgusting late-night treat.

    Honourable Mention: If my drinking escapades happen to occur in my old stomping grounds of "beautiful downtown Sydney", then I usually end up at a local favorite, Jasper's. What can I say about Jasper's. Modern decor, always cheerful wait staff, well-mannered, quiet patrons, this place has it all! There's just something about having breakfast at 4:00 in the morning that gives me that special feeling way down in the cockles of my heart. Or maybe that's just the bacon and eggs. My new favorite menu item is "The Downhomer", which consists of 2 eggs, 2 fishcakes, baked beans, and 2 slices of toast. Delicious. I was actually banned from this establishment for a little while (but that's a story for another time).

    Thursday, June 24, 2004

    Drinking, Dancing, Debauchery, Poetry?

    Last night I went to the launch party for Pine Magazine at The Seahorse. There were some readings from the magazine, and some poetry (which was kind of weird, since usually all you see at The Seahorse is a bunch of crusty ol' punks and metalheads getting drunk and falling all over the place). The real reason I was there, however, was to catch one of my favorite bands, Windom Earle. You can check out some of Stephan's stuff here, or here. The following is a quote from a review:

    Windom earle is what happens when new age confronts pop in a dark alley and they go at it, bitchslapping each other silly until they make up and decide to be, like, y'know, best friends forever, and go shopping for cute outfits at the nearest mall.

    Last night's set included a recent addition to the band, Dale Fahey (guitarist with The Spincycle Squared, and all around decent fella), who fit in quite nicely. The Windom Earle Karaoke Party was also in full effect last night, with Stephan doing his spirited rendition of "Footloose". A little bit a dancin', a little bit a drinkin', and a whole lot a funnin'. Indeed.

    Wednesday, June 23, 2004

    The Best Of The Internet

    Monday, June 21, 2004

    From The "Nobody Asked for It, But Here It Is" Department

    The New Beachcombers

    All I can say is, without Relic, what's the point?

    Friday, June 18, 2004

    This town needs an enema!

    Top 5 Actors Who Are Probably Actually Crazy

    1. Christopher Walken - This guy is an absolute nut. I think he is not of this world. No matter how the shitty the movie is (see Gigli), the guy always gives an engaging performance. Add to the fact that he's a great dancer, singer, and one of the best hosts Saturday Night Live has ever had (he has a standing invitation to host the show once a year, if he is available), and you have one of the most versatile actors going today. And to think, he was almost chosen to play Hans Solo in Star Wars. Ah, what could have been...

    2. Jack Nicholson - It is certainly no secret that old Jack has more than a few screws loose. The reason he plays crazies so well in film's is because, well, he IS crazy! From "Jack Torrance" in The Shining, to "The Joker" in Batman, everybody knows that if the part calls for an actor who can "bring the crazy", Mr. Nicholson is the go-to guy. He is also a close friend of Hunter S. Thompson. That can never be a good sign.

    3. Jeff Goldblum - If you've ever seen Jeff Goldblum do an interview on a talk show, you'll understand why he is on this list. I saw him on Late Night With Conan O'Brien recently, and Goldblum spent the whole time talking about Conan's skin. Funny and creepy at the same time.

    4. Crispin Glover - Dude has a collection of artifacts in his house related to gynecology and mummification, and once tried to kick David Letterman in the head during a Late Night appearance for not showing enough interest in his insect collection. Homeboy is tripping on something, that's for sure.

    5. John Malkovich - MALKOVICH!!!

    Thursday, June 17, 2004

    Hey Mister, Could You Spare A Dime?

    So I was going to get a haircut after work yesterday, and during the walk (it takes about 7 minutes to get there from my place) I was hit up by 4 different lemonade stands! At first I was more than willing to part with 25 cents for a glass, since it was "hot as crotch" outside and I was thirsty. I bought a glass at the second stand because they were only charging 15 cents (mind you, the quality was severely lacking compared to the first stand). The third one was selling homemade, freshly squeezed lemonade, so I had to give that a try. I was now out of change , so I had to decline the offer from the fourth stand. The one thing I noticed about all of the stands is that the kids were so pushy! Jesus, I've talked to telemarketers who were less pushy than these kids! Some of the kids actually stepped into the middle of the sidewalk to get me to stop. These kids have to learn that you don't have to be pushy and aggressive to sell lemonade (although chumps like me will still buy it, apparently). All you need is a hot, sunny day, a good location, a hand-written sign that has spelling mistakes and/or backwards letters, and your cutest, "Ah shucks, golly gee" facial expression. Just watch the money roll in. Seriously, who can resist some darling little raggamuffin hawking low-grade lemonade at 15 cents a pop?

    Batter up!
    Mmmm, tasty!
    Vinyl Is Dead

    Wednesday, June 16, 2004

    The Way Of The Master

    A while back somebody showed me this website, The Way Of The Master, and I feel that it is important enough to share with you, my valued readers. The generosity just oozes out of me (man, that sounds gross). From the title, I thought it was going to be some crazy kung-fu type stuff, and that I would finally learn how to harness my chi and learn how to vanquish my enemies with "The Touch Of Death", or "The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique". What I found instead was nothing less stupifying and mystical that what I had originally thought. All I can say about it is that it involves Kirk Cameron (yes, that Kirk Cameron), and it has changed my life. Enjoy.

    Feelin' HOT, HOT, HOT!

    From the "Praise Jeebus I Don't Live There Department":

    Apparently the gods are angry in Honolulu, since the Mount Kilauea eruptions have prompted a new series of lava warnings. LAVA WARNINGS! What the fuck! I mean, yeah, okay, we had a pretty bad hurricane here last fall (by Nova Scotia standards), and we also had a pretty tough winter, but lava warnings! I'm never going to complain about the weather situation here again. I'm just thankful that I don't live on top of a massive volcano that could friggin' blow up any day now and cover my village in friggin' lava.

    If you're ever in Honolulu and feel like watching some lava, here are some tips:
    Lava safety tips
    • Stay inside the National Park Service's rope perimeter.

    • Do not go near the water and do not enter bench areas. Stay at least a quarter-mile inland.

    • Move inland quickly if you hear cracking or booming sounds or other unusual noises.

    Source: U.S. Geological Survey


    Tuesday, June 15, 2004

    John "The Lord Mayor Of Southwest Margaree" Gillis

    To break up the monotony, here's a photo. The Dude on the left is Bad News Brown (or Bad News Allen, depending on who you talk to), and the dude on the right is The Cuban Assassin. The Cuban Assassin was a fixture in Grand Prix Wrestling, Atlantic Canada's longest running wrestling promotion. When I was a kid, I thought that my Dad looked like the Cuban Assassin. In retrospect, if my dad had let his hair and beard go crazy, dropped about 60-70 pounds, had a deeper tan, and wore wrestling boots, then maybe he would have looked like him. My dad did often have that "crazed" look in his eyes sometimes, but that's another story altogether. Posted by Hello

    Tuesday's Gone With The Wind...

    You know, it's pretty sad that the most exciting thing going on in my life at this very moment is that I'm getting a new CPU fan installed in my computer. I'm also thinking about upgrading from Windows 2000 Professional to Windows XP Professional. I'm also a huge nerd.

    *Update*: So I find out that while trying to remove my old fan I irreparably damaged my processor, and I have to buy a new one. Granted, my processor is about 3 years old and was due for an upgrade anyway, (I'm going from an Athlon Thunderbird 850 MHz chip to an Athlon XP 2200 MHz chip - that's computer nerd speak for "My 'puter's gonna be a shitload faster, wha."), but it's still annoying.

    Monday, June 14, 2004

    The Weekend Wrap-Up

    Friday Night: After work Friday I went straight to the booze store to purchase the required supplies to make one of the drinks I featured on Friday's post, The Nomad (I used Bombay Sapphire gin instead of Vodka, however). A couple of those bad boys and I was in quite a good mood. Then it was off to Tom's Little Havana for my usual Friday evening revelry. After Tom's, I went a few blocks over to Halifax's newest music venue, Stage Nine, where Slowcoaster were playing. This was probably about the millionth time I've seen them, roundabouts. The crowd was pretty thin at first, but things picked up towards the end. I danced for a good hour or so, so I must have been pretty drunk. The bar has a great patio, and I had some excellent conversations out there with Devon Strang's sister (I can never remember her name) and Shaun Purdy (we had a solid 15 minute discussion about Andre The Giant). Oh, and some weird girl (who was completely wasted, knackered, three sheets to the wind) kept on trying to dance (read: grope) with me. That sucked, so I solved the problem by dancing over to the edge of the dancefloor, where I noticed a lone, drunk, dancing male, and then quickly saying "I need another drink.", or something to that effect, and jetting off to the bar. By the time I got my drink, I could see that the lone male and the crazy weird girl were in the middle of what could only be classified as "PG-13 style heavy petting", so my crisis was averted (I'm just like Cupid, only a little different).

    Saturday: Giselle, Debra, and myself checked out Greek Fest over on Purcell's Cove Rd. Some meat on stick, shitty beer, decent wine, funny dancing in strange costumes. A good time was had by all. After that we headed over to the Oxford to see Super Size Me, which was fantastic, by the way. The movie has put me off fast food for at least a month or so, however (or maybe until the end of the week, who knows).

    Sunday: My roomate Mike and I decided to go golfing Sunday afternoon, so we got in the Volkswagon (thank the lord for roomates with cars!) and headed out. He said that he thought there was a course out on Purcell's Cove Rd., but after a good solid 15-20 minutes of driving out there, we still couldn't find one. Instead we found a 200 year old naval fortress. Along the highway we saw this weird concrete wall, and our natural curiousity drew us to investigate. We saw a clearing in the forest for a walking path, so we parked the car and headed out. What we had stumbled upon was York Redoubt, an old fortress that was built in the 1800's to protect Halifax Harbour. For a couple of history nerds like us, it was pretty cool indeed. Afterwards we headed downtown to The Old Triangle for some Sunday afternoon refreshment. We ended up watching most of the England-France European Cup soccer (ahem... I mean football) game, drinking our lager and feeling like right football hooligans. I ended the night by again going to the theater to see The Stepford Wives. There were a few funny bits, but this didn't illicit too many laughs from yours truly. Also, whoever edited the movie should be taken out back to the learnin' tree for a severe whoopin', because I thought that the overall flow of the movie was terrible. Ah well, can't win em' all, I guess.

    Quite the action packed weekend, and I'm sure that you were all riveted by my colourfull account of it. Envy me and my busy social schedule (ha)! Now I can't wait for the Multicultural Festival in Dartmouth next weekend!

    Friday, June 11, 2004

    Tiny Bubbles, Make Me So Happy

    Top 5 Carbonated Beverages (With Bonus Drink Recipes!)

    1. Coca Cola - Still the champ after all these years, no matter what those Pepsi loving freaks will tell you. And don't listen to anybody who tells you those stupid stories about leaving a nail or a t-bone steak in a dish full of Coke overnight, and in the morning they're GONE! That's complete bulldung. Wayne Gretzky also used to endorse Coke. If it's good enough for Wayne, it's good enough for me.

      Drink: Cuba Libre
      2 oz Light rum
      Juice of 1/2 Lime

      Pour lime juice into a highball glass over ice cubes. Add rum, fill with cola, stir, and serve.

    2. Fresca - Brought to you by the good people at Coca Cola, Fresca is a caffeine-free grapefruit flavoured citrus soft drink. Grapefruit flavoured! My love of carbonation and my love of grapefruits together at long last, all in a handy 355 ml aluminum can! Don't be fooled by the Sprites of the world, this shit is the bomb refreshing citrus beverage. For reals, yo.

      Drink: The Nomad
      4 oz Lemonade
      1 oz Vodka
      1 oz Fresca
      dash Grenadine

      Mix vodka, lemonade and fresca and serve over ice, add dash of grenadine.

    3. Ginger Ale - Ginger ale is just fantastic stuff, in that it's carbonated, but can sometimes actually settle your stomach. This is almost a necessity for the home bartender.

      Drink: Headless Horseman
      2 oz Vodka
      3 dashes Bitters
      Ginger ale
      1 slice Orange

      Put vodka and bitters into a collins glass. Add several ice cubes, fill with ginger ale, and stir. Add the orange slice and serve.

    4. Tonic Water - The other half of a Gin And Tonic. Nuff said.

      Drink: Gin And Tonic
      2 oz Gin
      5 oz Tonic water
      1 Lime wedge

      Pour the gin and the tonic water into a highball glass almost filled with ice cubes. Stir well. Garnish with the lime wedge.

    5. Champagne - Since I usually can't afford to buy ACTUAL champagne, I'm usually stuck drinking "sparkling wines", but "any port in a storm", as the saying goes. I think the bubbles go straight to your brain and get lodged in there, instantly turning you into a babbling, giggly idiot. Good stuff. Buy a cheap bottle of sparkling wine, get a few oysters on the halfshell, and pretend your at some five-star hotel on the French Riviera (instead of your stank ass living room filled with McDonald's wrappers and two-day old dishes).

      Drink: Fizzy Fuzzy Navel
      1 1/2 oz Peach schnapps
      2 oz Orange juice
      Fill with Champagne

      Pour Schnapps and OJ over 2 ice cubes. Fill with Champagne and stir gently.

    All drink recipes brought to you by Webtender.

    Thursday, June 10, 2004

    And Now The Fake News

    For absolutley no reason at all I began thinking about Norm McDonald today. You know, renowned Canadian comedian and former Weekend Update news anchor on Saturday Night Live. It may have something to do with the fact that I actually watched SNL this weekend for the first time in a long time. There used to be a time when I wouldn't miss an episode of Saturday night, with Norm's Weekend Update usually being the highlight for me. Remember when Chris Farley was still alive and coherent. When Dana Carvey hadn't yet made Master of Disguise. When Mike Myers was still funny. Now I'm lucky if I catch one episode a month. Ah, the good ol' days.

    In honour of Norm, here is a link to the homepage of one of his favorite celebrities. Whom, you may ask? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

    Wednesday, June 09, 2004

    Hot Fun In The Summertime

    It's like 30 degrees here in Halifax today! Usually I would be complaining that it's too hot and muggy, but considering the absolutley horrendous weather we've been getting round these parts recently, I'll shut my mouth. It's about time to go to the Pitch And Putt in Fairview to get some golfing in! (The Pitch And Putt isn't exactly REAL golf - all of the holes are Par 3, the longest being about 90 yards or so, and you only need 2 clubs, a putter and a pitching wedge, hence the name. It does have a driving range and mini-putt, so it's all good though. Plus, I completely suck at golf, so there's not much point in going to a nice, expensive golf course.)

    This Swedish dude made this thing where you can type in English song lyrics, and it will sing them back to you (providing of course the word is in the database). Nice little timewaster this is.

    Tuesday, June 08, 2004

    Well Coach, We Gave It 110% ...

    Kudos to the Tampa Bay Lightning on a well deserved Stanley Cup win, and kudos to the Calgary Flames, who had a great Cup run. Last night's game was all any hockey fan could have hoped for, and reminded why I fell in the game oh so long ago. I can't wait for the World Cup in August.

    Take this stupid little Internet quiz, and find out which 80's band you are. Apparently I'm The Pixies. "Where Is My Mind", indeed.

    Music Of The Moment: Rocket To Russia - The Ramones

    TV Show Of The Moment: Superstar U.S.A.

    DVD Of The Moment: Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life

    Greasy Ass Snack Of The Moment: A&W Onion Rings

    Monday, June 07, 2004

    Weekend happenings

    Wow, Halifax actually had a weekend with two full days of nice weather! The apocalypse must be near. Hopefully we'll be back to grey, cold, drizzly days soon.

    Tumbleweed was fairly entertaining on Saturday. I was able to catch sets by The Spincycle Squared, Jon Epworth, The Special Noise, The Hold, and The Hemingways. Good, clean, Rock N' Roll fun was had by all. As Pete Townshend said, "The kids are alright." The fun had at the concert was negated later on that evening after watching the Calgary Flames go down in double-overtime to the Tampa Bay Lighting. Game 7 is tonight - I still think the Flames can pull it off.

    On Sunday, myself, Mike, and Carlos (one of Mike's co-workers from da Maurizio's), went on a little excursion to Peggy's Cove to get some lobsters. Now, even though I was born and raised here in good ol' Nova Scotia, I can honestly say that I do not feel some mystical connection to the sea. Mind you, I grew up in Sydney, and while Sydney is a port town, it's a far cry from some quaint fishing village. I have to say though, that when we got to Peggy's Cove and just sat there on the rocks for a few minutes, it got me to thinkin' about this little province I live in. I find it hard to imagine what it would be like living somewhere where you aren't in close proximity to the sea. Going to places like Peggy's Cove reminds me that I was indeed born in a special little corner of the world. It's enough to make a man misty eyed. Now excuse me while I go drink some rum and sing sea shanties. Yar.

    Friday, June 04, 2004

    Listy McListerson

    Top 5 Nacho Toppings

    1. Cheese - An absolute necessity for nachos. Preferrably it should be cheddar, but mozzarella or Monteray Jack will do in a pinch. I even like the neon orange movie theatre cheese stuff.

    2. Hot Peppers - I loves me some hot peppers. Jalapenos, banana peppers, Anaheim chilies, you name it. I wouldn't recommend Habanero chilies for nachos though, unless you like the feeling of SEARING HOT FIREY PAIN in your gullet.

    3. Onions - Many people dislike onions (especially raw) because of their strong taste and their penchant for giving you bad breath, but I love the stinky bastards!

    4. Green Bell Peppers - I love green (and red, yellow, and orange) peppers so much, I could eat them raw, just like an apple. In fact, I believe I have, on a few drunken occassions.

    5. Chicken - If you absolutely must have meat on your nachos, make sure you skip the traditional ground beef in favour of chicken. Trust me. If you want ground beef, get a bowl of chili, punk. Besides, this way you won't get mad cow disease.

    I didn't have salsa or sour cream on the list, because I am a huge believer that those should always be served on the side, lest your nachos get all soggy and shit. And stop putting the black olives on nachos. Seriously! Who started that trend anyways? Leave the black olives for your Greek salad. Word.

    Birthday Booty

    Here's some of the stuff I've received for my birthday:

    Jesus Christ Action Figure - Thanks Giselle!

    A bottle of Freixenet Cordon Negro Extra Dry - Thanks Mike!

    The Amazing Spiderman Issues #506 & 507 - Thanks Shannon!

    The Return Of The King on DVD (Widescreen) - Thanks self!

    Not a bad little haul, if I do say so myself.

    The Day After...

    Hangovers suck. Big time. Go here for a bunch of hangover cures. My personal favorote is V8 juice, and LOTS of it.

    Thursday, June 03, 2004

    Go Iain, It's Yo Berfday!

    I'm 25 years old biotches!
    Here are some other people who have the same birthday as me:

    • Lalaine - Apparently she acted alongside Her Duffness in that crappy Lizzie McGuire TV show. I hate that show. She also only uses one name. That, my friends, is the definition of lame.

    • Suzi Quatro - Apparently this pop-rocker chick was big in the 70's. And she once had an acting stint on Happy Days. The parade of mediocre celebrities who share my birthday continues!

    • Tony Curtis - Tony's a famous actor, who has appeared in such films as Some Like It Hot, The Defiant Ones, and Lobster Man From Mars. He's also the father of Jamie Lee Curtis. Okay, we're moving up a bit here.

    • Curtis Mayfield - Now we're talking! Curtis was one of the greatest soul musicians of all time, with songs like "Pusherman", "Freddie's Dead", and "Superfly".

    • Allen Ginsberg - The world famous Beat poet, who penned such poems as "Howl" and "America". Far out.

    • Charles Richard Drew - He was an American doctor who was responsible for organizing the concept of a blood bank. Not too shabby.

    • Jefferson Davis - Old Civil War dude. In 1861, he was elected "provisional" president of the "provisional" Congress of the Confederate States. He also lobbied for a revival of the slave trade. Well, I guess everybody you share your birthday with can't be all nice and fuzzy.

    Wednesday, June 02, 2004