Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Gettin "Gigli" With It

So I finally had a chance to see what many have called one of the worst movies of all time, Gigli. I simply had to see it for myself. What a mistake. As for my opinion of the movie, I'll leave it as this: those are 2 hours of my life that I'll never get back. Also, how the hell did the producers convince Christopher Walken AND Al Pacino to become involved in this shit?!

***** SPOILER ALERT *****
Not that anybody would care about me revealing the ending to Gigli, if you haven't seen the film yet and simply cannot bear to have the experience ruined, skip the rest of this paragraph. There are basically 3 main actors in the film; Ben Affleck, J.Lo, and Justin Bartha. Bartha plays a mentally challenged kid who is kidnapped by Affleck (don't ask) in order to put pressure on the kid's federal prosecuter brother (again, don't ask). Throughout the entire movie, Bartha's character wants to go to the beach (or, "the Baywatch", as he refers to it). So, lots of stuff happens, and at the end, Ben and J.Lo end up taking the poor little guy to the beach (hooray). Then, after Ben and J.Lo decide to ride off into the sunset together (J.Lo plays a lesbian, by the way, but still falls for Ben's wily charms. Yup), they leave the mentally challenged kid at the beach, by himself! What the fuck! How irresponsible! Fuck this shit movie!

In happier news, I purchased the new Ween concert DVD today. I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl.


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