Sad Songs Are Nature's Onions

"For the sickness, that be spreadin with the quickness Remedies, cousin I be doin on my enemies Penalty, then I drink forties to they memories" - "Release Yo' Delf" by Method Man

Friday, May 21, 2004

Friday List-orama!

Top 5 Toys I Loved When I Was A Young Lad

  1. Transformers - It goes without saying that Transformers were some of the coolest toys ever produced in the history of the known universe. "Hey look, it's a robot. Whoa dude, check it out, now it's a jeep! Awesome!" The only Transformers who didn't make sense to me were the ones that turned into boom boxes. I mean, come on now, the rest of the Autobots and Decepticons get to turn into sports cars and jets, and all Soundwave (Decepticon) and Blaster (Autobot) can do is turn into a tape deck?! Talk about getting the short end of the stick. On the plus side however, the cassettes that came with the tape deck dudes turned into birds and wolves and shit. Rad.

  2. Hotwheels/Micro Machines - Now I know Hot Wheels and Micro Machines are technically two different things, but I still categorize them both under the "really tiny automobile replicas" genre. I remember having a ton of these little bastards back in the day. Hot Wheels were an essential part of one of my favorite childhood games: "Dinky Car Smash-up Derby". The game consisted of two Hot Wheels cars (one for myself, one for my brother), lining them up, and then crashing them into each other. Whichever car stayed on its wheels won. Brilliant

  3. He-Man - I remember one Halloween my brother and I went out dressed as Skeletor and He-Man, respectively. Yeah, we were big into the cartoon and toys. We had this castle-like thing called "Snake Mountain", and the giant snake head had this weird "microphone" thingy in it that made your voice sound all funny. Plus there was a guy called "Stinkor", who actually stunk. Really.

  4. Starcom - These toys consisted of various spacecraft that had little metal plates strategically placed on them, and little cosmonauts with little magnet feet (and cool little visors on their helmets). The cosmonaut dudes had cool names too, like "Capt. Pete Yablonski". Sweet.

  5. M.U.S.C.L.E. Wrestlers - Based on some weird Japanese cartoon, these were little one inch tall pink wrestlers. There were over 200 of these things, and only two of them had names; "Muscle Man" (the main good guy), and "Terri Bull" (the main bad guy). The rest looked like rejected Batman villains.

Honourable mention goes to Fireball Island. While technically not a toy (it was a board game), it was definitely one of the better things my brother and I owned. The object was to get your little plastic adventurer up to the top of a mountain (which was actually a board game sized 3D plastic mountain - very cool) and retrieve a jewel. Sounds boring, but at the top of the mountain is this giant scary head, which spits "fireballs" (little red marbles) at your poor little man-shaped token and knocks his sorry ass back down the mountain. I'll take that over Monopoly any day of the week.


  • At 7:13 p.m., Blogger Boost Ventilator said…

    I totally forgot about M.U.S.C.L.E. Wrestlers. Those were great. The only thing around nowadays that would be in the same league would have to be Homiez, but they insight a different type of violence.

  • At 9:59 a.m., Blogger iaingillis said…

    Yeah, we've lost our innocence when it comes to miniature action figures. As cool as the M.U.S.C.L.E. figures were, the Nintendo game based on them was probably one of the worst games to ever grace the ol' NES, ever.

  • At 7:09 p.m., Blogger joe moroze said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 8:31 a.m., Blogger iaingillis said…

    Patchoulli... of course! All this time I thought that Stinkor was a really bad-ass evil dude, when in actuality he was just a dirty. smelly hippy! I'll bet he's pretty bummed that Phish broke up...

    As for myself, I'm doin aight, Joseph. I've watched my new Ween DVD about 3 times in the last 3 days. That shit is the bomb. Man, I'm am such the little nerd fanboy. Oh well.

    Hey Joe, send me an electronic mail to, so I can gets yours and Bridget's email addresses, mang.

  • At 9:59 a.m., Blogger iaingillis said…

    Shit... I was messin around, and by accident I deleted Joe's comment. Oops. No hard feelings Joe, K.

    Here it is again...

    Joe Moroze wrote:

    "i remember getting Stinkor as a kid, and being really happy that he actually smelled so bad. fast-forward to about 15 years later when i encountered someone who was wearing patchouli perfume. the first thing i thought about this girl was "holy shit, she smells like Stinkor." hey iain, how's it goin?"


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